Last semester I was walking into my university's gym and another student was following me. Upon entering the gym, I waited for the student, and held the door open for him because it was chilly and he looked like he was in a rush. While entering he said "Thank you. I didn't know girls did that". After asking what he was talking about, he stated that he'd never had a door held open for him by a female. He furthered the conversation by stating that "Girls think guys are always supposed to do that for them". My conversation with him continued for a moment, but ended (after I noticed the snack bar had one of my favorite treats...I was too hungry that day smh) not too much longer after I told him "Well, I have hands that work and it looked like you were in a hurry. Glad I was your first." After he laughed, we wished good days upon one another, and I went to get my snack (because the food was calling me!!)...but, I did re-evaluate the situation. Chivalry. Gender expectations. Princes and princesses..blahhhhh. Some women aren't innocent in reference to the expectations society has created for men, women, and other individuals society has designated norms and expectations for...like holding open a door.
Plenty of us have accepted the norms, made them our expectations, and some are guilty of possessing negativity towards someone else outside of what is considered a norm. To add onto those norms, women and young girls are given fairy-tales. Far from reality, I tell you. Those who know me know I loathe the tales under the Disney princesses so I'll skip over that to spare your eyes from the intense lecture. In person, that's a different story. Anyway, many women and young girls possess the fairy-tale mindset. A prince. Manners...the death of enemies, bad memories, and moments of trial and tribulation...and a happy ending...with el dinero! Holding the door for another individual-mainly a woman-was deemed and is deemed as a duty of the male for the woman. I understand some of us were taught that by our guardians, and I'm not arguing that. Some of us expect doors to be held open and some of us not only expect doors to be held opened, but we feel so entitled, that we don't have to show any form of appreciation to the person that projected the kind gesture. From my perspective, as I told the male, I held the door open out of consideration. Sure, the "thank you" is lovely, but, in reality, we won't always get that...from everyone. In my opinion, holding open the door for another person should not be a duty for certain sexes or genders. It should be an action taken simply because of consideration. And it shouldn't be a big deal. I'm not suggesting we wait for the person 20 steps behind us when we've already entered the building, but if the person is in close proximity, why can't you hold the door open for them?
A blog about door holding...smh. I know, but it is actually a big issue for some people! One of male friends almost had a conniption after holding the door open for a group of girls while saying "hello" and NONE of them responded. I could feel his frustration and I understand his frustration, but what is "rude" to us may not be for someone from somewhere else. Something to consider. Another thing, to the individuals that are, in fact, THOSE people that expect everyone to hold the door open for them, roll out the red carpet, and throw glitter upon your arrival, that type of mentality could get you a lovely date between your face and the door if you're behind someone that doesn't feel the same way about your door holding expectations! Show some appreciation for someone holding the door open for you while waiting for you to enter a building. Seems like a simple task for anyone. Manners (according how we've defined them) are tip-toeing on ice. Sex shouldn't be applied to a gesture like holding the door open. Is it that much of a challenge to project considerate and genuine acts towards one another without feeling as if we have to? Also, has the expectation of chivalry from men affected the attitudes of entitlement some people posses? Just random babbling.
Google Image
With Realness,
Bee Elae
2/3/2014
2/4/2014
No comments:
Post a Comment