Have you ever been scolded or questioned about a body gesture, pose, or posture? Like getting in trouble for sitting with your legs "open" because you're a female? Or sitting with your legs crossed and being told to "put your legs down" because you're a male? I don't remember how old I was, but after a church service, I had rehearsal for an upcoming performance. I sat on the first pew with a long skirt on bent over with my elbows on my knees and my legs "inappropriately spread apart" (according to one of the mothers of the church). One of the older women came up to me and said "Close your legs! That's unlady-like." After her remark, we had a stare-off...you know when you just stare at someone in silence waiting for them to blink or something? Lol. We did that number. Couple of seconds, but it happened. I started sitting up as she waited for me to readjust my posture. And I did readjust my posture...right back to the original posture she'd scolded me for! Although most of you probably think it was disrespectful on my behalf for not listening to an adult, it was disrespectful of her to approach me and speak to me the way she did. You couldn't see underneath the skirt, my posture was fine. I felt she was more focused on HOW my posture did not reflect my gender. Had the skirt been short enough to the point where you could see what was under the skirt, that'd be a whole different novel...but it wasn't even close. The skirt didn't cling to my frame by any means. Her discontent also reminded me how gender was expressed during her upbringing. I still don't comprehend how the term "unlady-like" became popular. "Unlady-like"? WHAT is THAT? (rolls eyes). And why is it a word?
Recently, I've been receiving more remarks about something else I subconsciously do: bending over without bending my knees. HYPER-MINUSCULE to most of us, but I've been asked "Does that hurt?" and even told " You need to bend your knees when you bend over because it's rude..." My legs...are long. Grasshopper long. I don't think anything of my bending unless I have a knee brace on. I reckon the backside visual is offensive (LOL), but I've never considered it before because I'm focused more on not having to bend down and focused on what I was bending over for. Apparently, my non-bending sparks an interest and a slight controversial issue (not because of the significance bending has in relation to health) because I'm a woman. I've re-evaluated the instances in which my bending has been brought to my attention and where I'd been at the time. I even made the effort to consider how it could have possibly offended someone, but I was unable to find fault especially since the locations were at my place of employment which requires excessive lifting, bending, and walking. And when I did bend, I turned towards an area where no one was behind me. I really picked this apart. Before, I'd witnessed an individual unintentionally make himself the source of laughter because his friends deemed his posture as "gay". We ("we" as in people) are given gestures/actions, poses, and postures acceptable and unacceptable unto us determined by our gender. "Girl, close your legs (even though they aren't even 5 inches apart)!", "No breastfeeding in public!" or "Bro, you can't sleep holding your pillow like that...", "Small bites ladies..." OR "You CANNOT drink with your pinky up!" There are gestures/postures and poses that aren't acceptable (especially in reference to the event one is attending or location), but the "yes" and "no's" of all gestures and postures are a tad extreme. If you take the time to think about it, our minds have received input from what is and what isn't socially acceptable in regards to our postures and poses, and some of us care and are unwilling to step outside of the "norm".
Perhaps, you see a male posing for a picture with his hand on his hip, the perceptions most of us obtain from his posture are influenced by society's norms. Although women seemingly receive more responses and opinions about their poses and postures, women have access to more poses than men. The pressure of possessing masculinity limits males to certain actions including posture and also presents expectations of them just as expectations are made of women. With these poses and postures we assume someone's sexual orientation, their involvement in certain activities, and assumptions about their character. Can you imagine how challenging it would be to re-route our minds into viewing gestures, postures, and poses as gender-neutral?! I think it would be and is challenging, BUT the changes towards gender-neutral ideas are becoming a lot more popular and they are being viewed from a more positive perspective rather than a negative one! Isn't it amazing how a pose by an individual in an image offers a limited (and possibly incorrect) layout about the person or people in the image? I'm certain we all can agree that some poses and postures are inappropriate (according to what we have defined as such), but obsessing over every pose or posture made is unnecessary. So, to those not in favor of my lack of knee bending, I'm not Mrs. Parker from "Friday" watering the yard and bending over with the cleavage hanging out while some fancy music is playing. In other words, I'm not bending over to reroute eyes by any means and I'm not making efforts towards having someone else's attention and it doesn't make me any less of a "woman"; I just don't want to bend down. Can we ease up on the excessive (and in-depth) dedication to gendering gestures, actions, poses and postures?
Check this link with photos I found on the Internet:
http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2012/02/15/embodying-gender-differences/
Google Image
With Realness,
Bee Elae
2/15/2014
2/19/2014
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